Lucky 7 Meme -- Spider Silk

Ok, so it’s been a while since Bailey Hammond (Over Yonder…) tagged me in this meme, but I’m finally joining the party!

The rules are pretty simple, and I will be blatantly ignoring some of them.

Rules:
1. Go to page 77 of your WIP.
2. Count down to the 7th line.
3. Copy the next 7 lines and paste them into your post.
4. Tag 7 others to participate.
5. Let those writers know they've been tagged.  It seems like everyone I know has already been tagged. XD So, if you haven’t gotten in on the fun yet, feel free! Tell ‘em Silent sent ya’.

And now, without further ado, approximately seven lines from page seventy-seven in my current WIP: Spider Silk. Please note that it kind of crosses a scene change. XD

            “And Danny was left sitting in a puddle, eighty-five percent sure that he would be missing his date on Friday.

            If he ever saw David Archer again, Danny was quite simply going to kill him.

~

            Bear was laughing. His grin stretched like a ‘Welcome Home’ banner. All was right in the world. Or… Almost all.

            The man was sitting on the stump-table, eyes bright as he absently reached behind him for another leg of poultry from one of the platters they’d brought in. He sat facing David, who’d long since been squeezed onto a chair between Foel and Anzy.”

I hope you found this little excerpt diverting, and I can’t wait to see what your selections are like! ;)

Keep writing! ^^

Review: Above World, by Jenn Reese

Title: Above World
Author: Jenn Reese
Genre: Fantasy (+ a quite healthy dose of scifi. Or vice versa)
Back-of-the-book Blurb:
"Thirteen-year old Aluna has lived her entire life under the ocean, just like all of the Coral Kampii in the City of Shifting Tides. But after remaining hidden from the Above World for centuries, her colony is in trouble, its survival in doubt: the tech that allows the Kampii to breathe underwater is beginning to fail, and many Kampii have already died. Yet the colony's elders, including Aluna's father, are unwilling to venture to the dry and dangerous Above World to search for answers.

So it's up to Aluna and her friend Hoku to face the terrors of land to find a solution. Once in the Above World, Aluna and Hoku learn that their colony is not the only one struggling to survive -- so are others in the skies and in the deserts. Will Aluna's warrior spirit and Hoku's intelligence be enough not only to keep themselves safe but also to find a way to save their city and possibly the world?"

The plot summary of Above World intrigued me. And the plot itself is intriguing. Far into the future, after overpopulation crowds humans out of their usual dwelling places, they transform themselves into beings based on mythical creatures (mermaids, harpies, centaurs, and so on) capable of living in other ecosystems – the ocean, high altitudes, the deserts, etc.

First of all, I love the concept. The world-building was rather good, with noticeable distinctions in culture between the Kampii (mermaids), Aviar (harpies), and all the rest. There was no shortage of action. The fight scenes were rather exciting, and detailed (the author studies martial arts, so…. There you go).

There’s an interesting blend of fantasy and science fiction here. It’s the kind of thing I would write. I’ve actually already written about bird-people and fish-people…

…which is what made it so disappointing when I could not bring myself to fully love this book.

I never really was engrossed in it, perhaps because that action-packed, exciting pace is so fast. Things move so quickly that certain areas weren’t developed as much as I would have liked.

Right from the beginning, things got a little Tell-y. The information was usually interesting; the placement just didn’t feel natural. Characters talked too long about things that should’ve been common knowledge to them. While reading, I thought more than once, “This book is mainly about showcasing the world and/or technology.”

Character motivations were sketchy in places. They flip-flopped – made rather dumb decisions on one page, then berated themselves for it (literally) two pages later. While some of the characters were interesting at first, I couldn’t truly like them because of their nonsensical actions, or actions that were out of character.

Out of character. That’s another thing I wasn’t thrilled with. I ask you, how can two Kampii children (who to our knowledge have never left the water before) pull themselves onto land for the first time and immediately recognize the smell of smoke? The word ‘smoke’ shouldn’t have even been in their vocabulary. Little things like this were scattered throughout the book, just noticeable enough to distract me and make me question the narration.

For instance [Minor Vague Spoilers in this paragraph, but not too big because it all happens within the space of a few pages anyway] in a colony of all females, where reproduction takes place in a nutrient bed  (In other words, no males required) and a couple-in-love from another colony is something to gossip over… In about two pages a girl from this colony begins a relationship with our male main character. This colony began as enemies, not entirely trusting, holding our MCs captive, as prisoners – and then again, two pages later, they’re all grand friends. *sigh*

Maybe a younger reader would be more entranced by Above World, but the logical inconsistencies and the info-dumps within the narrative made it hard for me to really get into this book.

First Submissions

                Just before writing this blog post, I submitted my entry for a writing contest.

                Then I tweeted this:

"OH MY GOSH, TWITTER, I JUST PRESSED SEND. They HAVE the story. The story I've had around for a YEAR AND A HALF. AHHHHHHHH. #firstsubmissions"

                And this:

"I would like to think such occasions will be much less panicky as time goes on. Sadly, I'm not certain that will be the case. XD"

                And was met with several reassuring/sympathetic/commiserating tweets, along with an imaginary paper bag to breathe into and some imaginary bite-size brownies.

                This is not the first thing I’ve ever submitted, though, guys. It’s one of the biggest contests I’ve entered, sure, and I haven’t submitted much anywhere (yet). But I’ve entered contests, including a few small-scale, local ones in elementary and middle school that I, uh, won/placed in. *blush*

                Just recently, I got back results from a major contest I entered at artandwriting.org. An Honorable Mention in my region. Not great, but not bad, either. And I didn’t freak out as much about that contest.

                I still freaked out, mind you. I just freaked out less.

                Why? I think because my entry for that contest was not the best thing that I’ve written. I knew that, was okay with that, and decided to send it in anyway (partially because winners there would lose the rights for two years, and I wanted to possibly submit some other stories to magazines, etc.). Because I knew it wasn’t my best work, I was thrilled to get an honorable mention.

                It’s different with the story I’m submitting now. It has been around since October 3^rd, 2010. I wrote it late at night (*cough*earlyinthemorning*cough*onaschoolnight*cough*) while listening to the song Airplanes by B.o.B. and Hayley Williams. I loved the thing. And I blogged about it way back then, for heaven’s sake, before this blog was even active.

                To this day, I think it’s one of the better rough drafts I’ve written. It’s changed in small spurts, with just a few major paragraphs altered or deleted after getting feedback from I-forget-how-many people. A few changed wordings. A few lines ironed into something smoother. That’s about it. The core is the same as it always was, and yet there’s a stronger focus now. A stronger character. A stronger story.

                It’s probably the most completely polished thing I have ever written thus far.

                Which is what makes this 1,500-ish word story so terrifying to send out into the world.

                For me, and every other person who’s begun submitting stories, I’m sure there’s more than a few questions floating around. We just need to live with those questions, and try to hold on to the answers.

                What if I lose?

                There will be other contests. Other places to submit. Other stories to polish, that will be better than this one ever was. Maybe they loved the story – they just loved someone else’s even more.

                What if they don’t even like it?

                Then they don’t like it. It’s a matter of opinion, a matter of who the judge is, and even a matter of what stories they’ve already read. It’s no different than when you sent this story out to reviewers, asking for feedback. There was a chance they wouldn’t like it. Your response to a rejection here should be similar to your response to a bad review; Make it better, or move on to something else.

                Most terrifyingly, what if I screwed up the formatting and get disqualified for something dumb? And then DIE?

                You will not die. Probably. I know this part is stressful, especially for people who haven’t submitted much before, but this should not be the most paralyzing part of the experience. Just follow the given directions as closely as you can, and if you’re not sure about something, ask someone. Preferably someone who knows what they’re talking about.

                … What do I do now?

                The answer to this one is simple. You keep writing. Write another story. Work on polishing other projects. Or maybe just write a blog post about the experience. *looks around innocently*

                And now, some questions for you.

                Have you started the submission/querying process? If so, what’s your experience been like? Any tips for the inexperienced submitter, or things about the process that have always tripped you up?

Removing the Layer of Distance

Imagine you’re reading what should be a really good book. The settings are detailed, the dialogue is fairly witty, and important, action-packed thing are happening in its plot.

And yet, you still feel unsatisfied.

Your attention lags. You find your inner reading voice drifting into a dull monotone. You catch yourself skimming more than once. At the very least, you find you don’t quite care about the main character, or whatever trials they’re overcoming.

It should be a really good book, and yet you just can’t get into it.

Why?

One possibility is that the author has left a level of distance between you and the story’s main character.

I see it all the time when I review short stories and first chapters**, especially among less experienced writers. Exciting things are happening. But we – the readers – are a step removed from the action, like we’re watching the events from across the street. We see the characters moving, but… We’re not really there.

To demonstrate, here’s some very rough, paraphrased lines from a scene in my WIP:

“David flinched as the kickball flew over his head. As Jameson and the other kids laughed, David scowled and went after the ball, vaulting over the fence and landing with a grunt on the other side.”

Not the best sentence in the world, but it’s not the worst, either. A little Tell-y. A little flat. A little more likely to drop our attention. It’s written like an outline, leaving us to fill in most of the details.

Now, let’s step into David’s shoes, and try to see the scene through his eyes.

“He turned his back to Jameson and stalked toward the fence. He vaulted it, moments before realizing that fence-vaulting probably wasn’t something they’d expect from him – the ‘crazy, formerly-kidnapped slacker’. He didn’t look back to gauge their expressions as heat crept up the back of his neck. Orange ball. David blinked as his eyes adjusted to the mottled light under the trees. Just find the stupid orange ball and toss it back to ‘em before somebody breaks out the baseball bats from the storage locker.”

I’d like to think that the scene from my actual draft is an improvement, although it’s still a bit rough. XD

At the very least, David’s more engaged in this scene. He’s moving. We’re hearing his thoughts. Seeing things from his perspective. We can infer more about his personality.

It’s my belief that readers can get more invested in a character – more drawn into the story – once they step into the character’s shoes. Obviously, methods may vary depending on what Point of View you use, but there are few tactics that can really start to connect your character with the scene around them.

• Show your character’s opinions and perspectives. And not just in the dialogue. “Just find the stupid orange ball…” David doesn’t care about the game they’re playing, and chances are it’s not just because of any screw-ups on his part.
• Use word choice to show the character’s mood. “David stalked…” As opposed to ‘jogged’, or ‘skipped’, or just plain ‘walked’. Using a tense verb carries David’s tension. If your character is at one of the lowest of low points in their life, the stars may not ‘twinkle’, the birds may not ‘chirp’, and dogs may not ‘yip’. They will – respectively – glimmer, caw, and growl.
• Keep the focus on your main character. They’re called ‘main’ for a reason. I could’ve added a few sentences about Jameson nudging one of his buddies. Or I could’ve gone into detail about the way he smirks at David’s back. But instead, we get “heat crept up the back of [David’s] neck”. David is our focus.

Don’t make us watch events from across the street. Take away the layer of distance, and place us firmly into the scene. Put us into the main character’s shoes, and let us feel what they feel.

Have you read a book where you just couldn’t connect with the main character? Are your character’s engaged in every scene? Do they cast their own perspectives onto everything they see? And, uh, thanks for putting up with the rough example from my WIP. XD

 **This also could be because I read some early drafts, before the author’s gone back to tweak all the things into their final, polished form. XD

“Not MY Novel” – On Accepting That We're Not The Exception

                It happens to everyone. You’re reading a blog post or an article about writing when you come across a phrase that you really don’t want to hear. Sometimes even the title is enough to make your heart sink.

                Maybe the post is about that area of the craft where you know you’re weak. Maybe it’s about the harsh realities of the literary world, such as the potential difficulties of finding an agent, getting published, and actually profiting from it.

                For me, the most recent instance of this was when I happened upon two different blog posts that essentially said “You will probably not publish the first book you write. There comes a point when it’s time to move on.” (One of these articles was here, but I can’t find the other. XD)

                Finding posts on that subject not just once, but twice in one day put a tight feeling in my chest. My current WIP is not The First novel I ever wrote. But it is among the first that I ever seriously considered to have publishing potential. It’s been around a few years now, and I’m still excited about it (which is a good sign). I’m [still] working on the first major rewrite. I’m excited—

                --but in the space of a few minutes, those blog posts put doubts into my head.

                That’s when They started to creep in. You know the thoughts I’m talking about. They grow like flies from larvae - Those indignant, defiant, and perhaps-a-little-snooty voices, who huff and fume at the very idea that someone would discourage us this way. “This might be good for other people to keep in mind, but I’m sure my novel will never have to--”

                That’s where I usually squash those flies, as I pull my WIP forward for another look.

                I’d like to think I remain very practical in response to things like this – the chest-tightening blog posts, the harsh critiques, or the knowledge that some parts of my writing are still less-than-stellar. Usually, I’m able to put enough space between myself and the writing to bite my lip and admit that “Yes, this area needs work.”

                Certain facts are relatively set in stone. We will make our manuscripts as perfect as we can before we put them on submission, and editors will still find pages and pages of things to fix. Our manuscripts will be turned down, a lot. We will have to make major, major changes to our stories. These are just some of the facts. As much as we’d like to believe that we’re the exception to the rule, chances are…

                We’re not.

                Case in point: For a long time, blog posts that suggested splicing multiple minor characters into one made my stomach turn.

                I love my characters! No way I could ever mold two characters together willy-nilly. No way I could smush all their traits, and actions, and importance into one body. Not in my novel.

                That’s what I thought…

                Until a few days ago, late at night, when I realized two characters were A) very similar, B) not altogether as developed as I would’ve liked, and C) already headed toward a very similar place in terms of emotions throughout the story and where they end up when it’s all over.

                After about five minutes of contemplation and some minor alterations (such as increasing the age of a love interest), I’d basically decided. Two characters melded into one, and now my only problem is picking which name to retain. On a related note, which name do you like better in a fantasy novel? Pole or Feb?

                For so long, I’d half-told myself “I’ll never need to splice two characters.”

                But now that I’ve done it, I realize my story will be oodles better because of it. Oodles, I tell you!

                Squash the flies that buzz “Not my novel.” Don’t give the larvae the chance to grow.

                Instead, let your story burst into something better, like a butterfly from its cocoon.

Have you ever gotten advice that made you anxious -- until you took it? What major changes have you had to make in your WIPs? And again, which name do you like better? Pole or Feb?

Ruts in Revision and How to Get Past Them

                I’ve got a lot of rough drafts, people. Doing NaNoWriMo since I was twelve, plus all my non-NaNo projects… I’ve accumulated a lot of rough drafts. And my hope-of-all-hopes is that more than a few of them – especially the newer novels – will eventually find their way to publication.

                But you know what I don’t have a lot of?

                Completed manuscripts. Polished drafts. Complete re-writes. Second drafts in general. I have a serious problem with sticking to one story, and while it’s generally recommended to give yourself time between your rough draft and the plunge into revision, there comes a time when one must begin.

                And begin I have. A paragraph here, a paragraph there. After dutifully reading through the rough drafts and making notes of what needs to be fixed, I begin with rampant enthusiasm, working in a new document with the old draft up as a reference point.

                I’ve done this innumerable times, and it always ended the same way. With three pages (best case scenario) that are strikingly similar to their predecessors.

                Recently, I’ve come to a realization.

                I cannot do a major rewrite of a book if I have the old version in front of me.

                When exactly did I realize this?

                The day I opened a new word document and began to rewrite my novel straight from my head, without looking at the first draft.

                I know my stories, guys. I suck at remembering real life names, faces, and phone numbers (including my own, on that last front) but years after writing the first draft of my current WIP(s), I can still recite the majority of the characters’ names, backgrounds, relations to other characters, crucial actions in the novel, and more. I can whip a summary of a whole series off the top of my head, even if it’s incoherent to anyone but me. I still spontaneously make connections between song lyrics and stories I haven’t worked on in years.

                So, it wasn’t exactly hard to pick things up, even while ignoring the rough draft and all the dozens of pages of notes I made (*cough* hundreds *cough* It’s a long, detailed series *cough*).

                The process is working for me so far; I’m farther along in the rewrite than any of my other attempts, and what I’m writing is – while still imperfect – different than what I remember from my draft.

                I’ve also begun this tactic with one of my other novels, which currently opens in a very odd way – one of the hazards of writing a novel where the inciting incident takes place four years before the main story. The first chapter has killed me, again and again. It drags, and there are unnecessary paragraphs, and possibly a bit of info-dumping.

                Once again, I haven’t looked at my rough draft or my notes, and I’d like to think the first chapter has really, really improved since.

                Why do I think this approach works?

                It Tosses the Crutches -- When you have your rough draft in front of you, it’s very easy to latch onto your pet phrases, your charming paragraphs, or simply the “This is adequate” stuff you wrote the first time around. Writing from your head, the temptation is mostly gone. I’ll admit there are still a few remembered lines trying to creep their way into things. But without the words there in front of me, it’s infinitely easier to axe them when needed.

                It Dumps the Excess – The rough draft of my current WIP was 120,000 words long. It was padded with so many infodumps, and unnecessary scenes, and pointless inner reflections of my Main Character. Working off of my memory means (hopefully) only the most important things from the old draft are carried through. If I don’t remember those six paragraphs on what food my posse of characters were eating, chances are they won’t be missed in the final book. I’ll go back and read both drafts when I’m done, and if I forgot something absolutely essential, I’ll fix it then.

                It Reclaims Your Blank Canvas – Sometimes a blank page can be intimidating. But it can also be liberating, and promising, and exciting, when you think of all the places that blank page could take you. Compared to that former sense of wonder, constantly referring to an old draft can feel like a lot more work than when you’re just beginning something. To me, it can be discouraging. Starting from almost-scratch (but hopefully with a strong idea of your characters, and where your story is going) can be a way to reclaim that wonder. Starting blank is a chance to discover new things about your story. It’s a chance to let your novel surprise you again.

                Obviously, this method won’t work for later drafts. We can’t rewrite our books from scratch every time and hope that at some point we pump out a finished manuscript. But at this point, I believe this is exactly the strategy I need to get beyond my rough drafts and work to polish something, and really improve it instead of spitting out the same old junk I started with.

                How do you handle revision? Is moving beyond your first draft as tough for you as it’s been for me? Got any tips for writers who find themselves caught in the rut of ‘revising’ a draft that looks exactly like the first one?

The Imperfections of Perfect

                Writing the following example nearly killed me.

                Francesca swooned inwardly, sneaking quick glances at the unfamiliar boy who’d just entered the room. He was the most gorgeous guy she’d ever seen. Tall, the way she liked, with light tangles of hair and a gentle smile. He was perfect.

                Gag.

                I’ll be honest. When I come across descriptions like this in books, my immediate reaction is to dislike the guy in question whole-heartedly, with much snorting and eye-rolling. It’s a rebellious impulse, brought forth by a couple of basic words.

                Perfect. Gorgeous. Beautiful.

                It feels like someone’s trying to set their friend up with a guy. “He’s GREAT, I swear, just GREAT. He’s SO hot, I promise, you’ll love him.” He’ll never live up to the expectation. Even if he is hot, there’s gotta be something wrong with him. Prison records, psychotic tendencies, or maybe even despicable table manners. The blind date’s instigator just tries to cover up those little details by putting the emphasis on how ‘Hot’ he is.

                You’ll have a hard time getting me to like your MC’s love interest if you use those phrases the first time you describe them -- especially if it’s the first time your MC even meets their love interest (unless of course your MC is the kind of person who would immediately notice and/or comment on things like this, regardless of whether they want to date the guy).

                Why am I so opposed to Perfect?

                Too Unrelatable – How many Perfect people do you know? How many really and truly Perfect people do you think there are in the world? Speaking for myself, I am far from perfect. Chances are, so is the character in question. Calling them Perfect is just setting up for disappointment from the reader, or even irritation toward the MC if the main character fails to notice the love interest’s imperfections, and goes on falsely believing that they truly are Perfect. Having the love interest deny their Perfection doesn’t help; false modesty can be really, really annoying.

                Too Vague – You call a guy character perfect. Great. But what is he like? Everyone has a slightly different view of what Perfect is, and when the author/character’s viewpoint clashes with the reader’s, it could make for a conflicting first impression. For example, if a reader likes her male characters wiry or a little lanky with short hair, that might be the first image in their head when they read ‘Perfect’, even though the author was talking about a big, macho muscle-man with hair down to his shoulders. And if you add a few clarifying details in the same general paragraph, then… Why do you need to use the word Perfect in the first place? Which brings us to the third point:

                Too Easy – Show versus Tell is one of the most common issues that pops up in conversations between writers, and those flat adjectives (Perfect, Gorgeous, etc.) are Telling. They are overused to the point where Perfect is not perfect, at least in terms of description. Let the reader infer the character’s attractiveness, please! I would much rather decide (and see the MC decide) that a character’s hot based on his specific physical attributes than on an empty word like ‘Perfect’. Better yet, make the cute nose and the toned muscles an afterthought, and let us fall in love with the things he does. The way he treats his girly-friend. The way he treats people in authority, and people in opposition to him. The way he faces challenges. All of his actions and reactions, blending together into a guy that is pretty darn attractive. Doesn’t developing an impression that way sound deeper and more satisfying than a simple “He’s hot”?

                Like I said, my first impulse is to despise Perfect characters on sight. The author will have a steep slope ahead to win my affections after pouring on some over-flattering descriptions.

                That said, it is not impossible. Augustus Waters, from John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars is a fabulous example. A few paragraphs after meeting this character, Hazel blatantly calls him hot. I’ll confess, there were about three milliseconds where I thought “I am not going to like this character.” I was wrong. I loved him by the end of the book. I think the turn-around was partially because A) it was not the first little bit of description I had about him, and B) His hotness did not greatly affect how Hazel treated him. Although she had a “Crap, I forgot to brush my hair” moment, that did not stop her from turning an awkward situation into a staring contest, or from spouting a philosophical monologue about Oblivion. His hotness was a thing, but it was not the only thing.

                However, I think Augustus is an exception to my general rule. It’s not something I can help; it is automatic. After seeing these basic words used over and over again, they have become shorthand for “Another of these characters. Roll your eyes here. Watch out for possible shallow character interactions to come.”

                I do not have an aversion to hot characters. I’ve had my fair share of fictional-character crushes.

                But let me decide for myself why to like a character.

                A bit of subtlety is perfectly reasonable, I assure you.

                What pet peeves like this do you have? Do you share my rebellious anti-“Perfect” reaction? What characters have you crushed on over the years, and why?