An Example of Voice: The Knife of Never Letting Go

                “Howdy, n’ welcome to this here blog o’ mine.”

                “Greetings. I would like to extend my deepest appreciation to you for visiting this online expression of my thoughts.”

                “S’up dudes. This be my blog.”

                Hi. And welcome to my blog.

                Hopefully these examples have highlighted the importance of today’s subject: Voice. It’s a crucial part of writing a story worth reading, and it’s a great way to introduce readers to your characters, and the world your story takes place in.

                Recently, I found a book with a voice that exemplifies this very well. The Knife of Never Letting Go, by Patrick Ness, involves mind-reading. Lots of it. Not just a focused look into the mind of a single person at a time, but everyone projecting their thoughts into the air, all the time, to everyone.

                There are no private thoughts. Where there are people, there is Noise.

                This concept, plus talking animals and a main character who’s practically illiterate - yet often profound - make for an interesting voice indeed. Remember that post on breaking the rules?



                The First Pages:

                The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don’t got nothing much to say. About anything.

                “Need a poo, Todd.”

                “Shut up, Manchee.”

                “Poo. Poo, Todd.”

                “I said shut it.”

                We’re walking across the wild fields southeast of town, those ones that slope down to the river and head on toward the swamp. Ben’s sent me to pick him up some swamp apples and he’s made me take Manchee with me, even tho we all know Cillian only bought him to stay on Mayor Prentiss’s good side and so suddenly here’s this brand-new dog as a present for my birthday last year when I never said I wanted any dog, that what I said I wanted was for Cillian to finally fix the fissionbike so I wouldn’t have to walk every forsaken place in this stupid town, but oh, no, happy birthday, Todd, here’s a brand-new puppy, Todd, and even tho you don’t want him, even tho you never asked for him, guess who has to feed him and train him and wash him and take him for walks and listen to him jabber now he’s got old enough for the talking germ to set his mouth moving? Guess who?

                …

                We don’t need apples from the swamp, truth be told. Ben can buy them at Mr. Phelps’s store if he really wants them. Also true: going to the swamp to pick a few apples is not a job for a man cuz men are never allowed to be so idle. Now, I won’t officially become a man for thirty more days. I’ve lived twelve years of thirteen long months each and another twelve months besides, all of which living means I’m still one month away from the big birthday. The plans are being planned, the preparayshuns prepared, it will be a party, I guess, tho I’m starting to get some strange pictures about it, all dark and too bright at the same time, but nevertheless I will become a man and picking apples in the swamp is not a job for a man or even an almost-man.

                But Ben knows he can ask me to go and he knows I’ll say yes to going because the swamp is the only place anywhere near Prentisstown where you can have half a break from all the Noise that men spill outta theirselves, all their clamor and clatter that never lets up, even when they sleep, men and the thoughts they don’t know they think even when everyone can hear. Men and their Noise. I don’t know how they do it, how they stand each other.

                Men are Noisy creachers.

               

                I think The Knife of Never Letting Go is the kind of book where you’ll read the first page and either love it – like I did – or run screaming in pursuit of a grammar textbook. It all goes back to those ‘rules’ of writing, and how attached you are to them. If you need the standard rules, you will probably not enjoy this book.

                If you’re willing to suspend those rules, just for a while… Just long enough to catch a glimpse into a new planet where grammar doesn’t matter and thoughts run over each other just like in real life so it’s all on the page and it’s real…

                Then you probably will like this book.

                Artfully misspelled words, run-on sentences galore, every sentence mimicking the thought process of someone surrounded by thoughts all the time. All this, plus the usual terminology of a science fiction tale – fissionbikes, ‘Askings’ instead of questions, etc. A slower beginning as we’re introduced to this world, then almost nonstop action, taking the reader to those Scenes of Ultimate Despair again and again. Then, a cliff-hanger ending that leaves you desperate for the next book in the series.

                It’s messy in places. It’s violent. It’s awful and tragic and – above all – unflinching.

                And I loved it. Even the things I wouldn’t exactly be thrilled about in an average book (some profanity for instance – not my cup of tea) were overshadowed by the plot, the characters, and the voice.

                Which would you rather hear? A tone-deaf amateur mangling your favorite song? Or your favorite singer in all the world singing ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’?

                Voice is like that. A good one can save a book, or a bad one could doom it.

                What’s the voice of your story?

                Are there any other books you can think of with a fantastic – or at the very least, distinctive – voice? Any books that lacked a distinctive voice? And what are some ways you’ve tried to develop your voice when writing?

And finally, the inevitable excuse: This post is late due to school stuff, musical practice, my sister home from college for a few days... And I've been making paperclip jewelry and a clay/wire doll based on the main character of this year's NaNo novel. I've been productive... Just not in a blogging way. XD

Ignoring Advice - Breaking the Rules of Writing, with Style

Remember that post from last week about passive voice and how it can subtract from your writing and you should avoid using it when you can? Well, forget about it. That’s right. Usher the thought from your mind. Tell the part of your brain that’s been obsessively replacing ‘was’ and ‘had’ to sit back and relax for a while. Completely ignore everything I told you.

Okay. Maybe not completely. And maybe you shouldn’t forget about it entirely. The truth is, it is a good tip that many people recite when they talk about writing, and using active voice in your writing really can be more effective in gripping your reader and getting your story across in an interesting way. It is good advice.

But it’s just that. Advice. To be taken or left at will.

I recently finished a book that I rather enjoyed, and I’ve just started another book that promises to follow the grand tradition of all such books by that particular author. And something I noticed in both of these books is that they use passive voice pretty often (especially the first one).

Obviously, I noticed, so was it entirely unobtrusive? No. Was it always as gripping as more active verbs might have been? Maybe not. But did it fill me with dread at the thought of reading the book? Did it make me want to chuck the novel in question into the fire pit and roast s’mores over its smoldering pages? No. I liked the book, even if it did use passive language from time to time. Its narrative was very proper, very… formal. And the passive voice worked fine with much of that narrative. It was a good book, with a great plot, and I enjoyed it.

Which brings me back to my point. Advice is advice, and whether it applies to your writing depends on you, your style, the mood and narrative and maybe even setting of the book you’re working on. This isn’t exclusive to passive language, either, people. For every piece of advice you get about writing, there are going to be plenty of published books out there written by successful authors who have taken those ‘rules’, rifled through them, and then tossed them out the window.

Use lots of description. Don’t get bogged down in description.

Use adjectives and adverbs. NEVER use adjectives and adverbs.

Use more interesting words for ‘said.’ Only use ‘said.’

Read everything. Read nothing.

Always use active voice… Except for when you use passive voice.

Even the most rigid ‘rules’ of grammar – the things that your English teachers stapled to your brain with commands to never forget them – are more flexible than you might think. Part of writing is breaking these rules, for emphasis and rhythm and preference of the author. Maybe the grammar Nazis out there will call you out on it. With the short stories I’ve posted online, I’ve had people ask why I use single quotes even outside of dialogue (as I did up above here, when talking about ‘rules’). I’ve had them try to correct stylistic ‘mistakes’ that I’ve made on purpose.

And you know what? In most cases, another reviewer was quick to respond and say, “Hey, actually, it’s fine to do it that way.”

I’m not saying you should completely ignore any and all advice people give you. Chances are, it’ll be good advice. It might address something that you really should try to fix, and most of the time it’s best to go along with the conventions of language and writing.

What I’m trying to say is, advice is not always set in stone.  A published author’s casual tip is not law. It’s up to us – the developing writers – to find our own styles and decide what kind of writing works best for us.

                And it’s up to us to know what kind of writing doesn’t work, and when it’s time to make a change. XD

                So, ladies and gents. What rules do you constantly break, accidentally or on purpose? What conflicting advice have you received? What books have you read that break the rules, but do it with style?

There’s a quote about this somewhere, and I know I’ve heard it before, and I know it has to do with getting conflicting advice… But when I tried to find it online, the closest thing I found was this:

"There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."

-- Somerset Maugham

Still a very good, very appropriate quote.

Here's another:

"Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself."
-- Truman Capote

And, I also stumbled onto this lovely article:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creating-in-flow/200906/11-types-bad-writing-advice

Which talks more about ‘bad’ advice, and addresses some of the same things I have in this post. In a more clear, more professional way. ^^
And, half a week before this scheduled post is made public, this lovely writing blog, the YA Lit Six, posted on a similar topic, but focusing more on how to break the rules in dialogue.

 

Fun fact: I wrote this post before the one on passive voice. XD

Problems with Passive Voice

                 Passive Voice versus Active Voice. It’s often talked about, but sometimes hard to understand. Even if you understand it, it can be hard to keep in mind while writing. So, what is passive voice? How about an example?

                The path through the forest was being traveled on by Little Red Riding Hood the day after she had received a letter that was written by her sick grandmother, asking her for some special cookies that were made by Little Red’s mother. Little Red had packed up the treats quickly and had started down the path toward the house that was owned by Little Red’s Grandmother, but halfway there she was stopped by a wolf that had been waiting by the path for hours!

                I wrote that in approximately thirty seconds. There are multiple problems with it, but hopefully one of the things you picked out was the little thing most often referred to as ‘Passive Voice.’ It’s kind of boring, not very gripping, and maybe even a little hard to follow in places.

Let’s try rewriting those sentences in a more active voice, and see if we can make it more exciting. See if you can pinpoint the difference.

Little Red Riding Hood skipped along the path through the forest, a day after her sick grandmother sent a letter asking for some of her daughter’s special cookies. The basket of treats swung against Little Red’s hip as she made her way toward her grandmother’s house. Just as she spotted her grandmother’s front gate, a snarling wolf loped onto the path in front of her, looking hungry. But his gleaming eyes weren’t focused on the basket of cookies.

Still not perfect, but I think we could all agree that it’s better than the first example. Not only does it have a little more action and a little more connection with the events taking place, but it also gives us more detail about what’s going on, even though it’s actually shorter than the first example.

And all I did was replace some of the passive voice with more descriptive words.

Many examples of passive voice follow this basic formula:

form of ‘to be’ + past participle = passive voice

In other words, something like:

                To put off working on my NaNoWriMo novel, I was forced to write a few blog posts.

                Was is the form of ‘to be’ (others include is, are, am, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been, and being).

                And forced is my past participle (a form of a verb that usually ends in –ed).

                Now, passive voice isn’t technically wrong. Sometimes, you have no choice but to use it. In certain kinds of writing, it can even be preferred (science writing, reporting crimes, more ‘official’ things like that, or places where the person who’s carrying out an action isn’t all that important). Even in my example, there was one sentence that I left in a passive voice – “But his gleaming eyes weren’t focused on the basket of cookies.”

                But in fiction writing, you generally want to use a more active voice. Passive voice can be hard to understand, unclear, and even wordy. It’s harder for a reader to get into the action of your story.

                Personally, I noticed the other day that I use passive voice more than I should, which contributes a lot to my tendency of making everything I write long. Really long. T-T It’s a problem.

                Do you struggle with Passive Voice? Is there something I left out that you feel should be addressed? What other problems do you sometimes struggle with when writing?

               

Links to more information on Passive Voice, and sites that explain it better than I do:

http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/passivevoice.html

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/active-voice-versus-passive-voice.aspx

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/passive.htm

By the way, for those of you who are interested...

Current JulNoWriMo wordcount: 30,424 words.

It's going rather well. ^^